Andy Walker

The power of the speech is unbridled. Many famous figureheads have given life altering speeches, such as FDR’s Infamy speech, Mandela’s “I am prepared to die” speech, and Queen Elizabeth the First’s “Golden Speech”. All of these speeches have something in common, they changed the tide of human development, and with something as benign and simple as human words we are able to make a huge impact. And with these speeches in the back of my mind, I feel a sort of pressure to make this speech as great as possible. With that out of the way, I would like to discuss the time I trapped myself in my room for an hour trying to change out a doorknob.

On a cold Saturday afternoon, while I was doing nothing of importance, my father came into my room and placed a doorknob encased in a rich and sharp plastic casing onto my desk, saying that my doorknob of 20 years was filthy and unusable. I groaned at the thought of any sort of labor and “placed” the doorknob under my bed for safe keeping, and i feel safe to admit that i had no intention of replacing the doorknob when i promised my dad I would. He smiled, seeing straight through my deceptive look, and closed the door. The next day my father was at work and my mother was out so it was just me and my sister in the house. I decided to impress my parents and install the doorknob all by myself. I had no idea how to install it, but I went into the garage, got a screwdriver, came back to my room, and started working. I closed the door and started unscrewing my former doorknob out of its position. Those of you familiar with doorknob mechanisms are aware of where this is going.

As I unscrewed the final screw, i heard a faint splat, my doorknob on the other side of my door fell into my cat’s litter box, and the metal locking mechanism of the door left stuck inside the door, leaving me trapped. I immediately started to panic, as most of you know I’m very claustrophobic and hate the idea of being trapped somewhere. I had two options at this point, either admit to myself that this was a bad idea and call my sister for assistance, or try to get the metal piece out of the door by myself. I began to brainstorm ideas, such as dismantling objects in my room to get a magnet out and forcing the metal object out. This proved hard because I didn't have any magnets casually laying around. I began to think about the worst case scenario, how no one would ever come to my aid and I would starve to death in my own room, where I had voluntarily spent most of my life. As much as I loved that room, I wanted nothing more than to get out. I heard a faint sound of a door opening, and realized that i had to ask my sister for help. I faintly called her name, and she turned around, and started laughing. After all the laughter we decided the best idea was for her to hold up the doorknob while i screwed it in, making it function again. After careful coordination and multiple attempts we got the doorknob to work and i got out. The first thing I did with my new found freedom was finish the job of installing my new door knob, and continue nesting in my room.
Most of you may be thinking that this is just a random story about a goober that got stuck in his room, and it is. But since I can’t just make a speech about that, I have to find a moral in this story. So I’ll end this with a quote from Helen Keller “Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much."