My innocence was wiped quick
With society I was caught in the drift
I tried to find myself but was lost in the mist
I’m tired of everybody just seeing me for my money
You get one look and think that i’m a rich nothin
Always tried to get someone to look back
And to see more than just my material stacks
Because if you looked back and saw the real me
You would see the real pain that I be feeling
Huddled up in the corner depression got me folding over
All this hurt that I shoulder but my time is coming closer
I knew before the closure that it was time to move forward
And for all the people that told me that I couldn’t over the time that I got older
Because At the age of 6
I was too young to see the tricks
At the age of 8
Reality was kicked straight
The death brought hate
All I saw was my fathers haunted face
As I tried to escape
couple more years of getting lied to
Arguments with my mom bringing back past issues
Got me feeling misused
learning what my father really been through
Felt lost without a path to choose
Living my life tryna keep my values
I vow to you
being rich got its problems you aint in my shoes
Was taught not to lose
And that’s when life was screwed
At the age of 12 that’s when life turned to hell
As I revealed the truth
father be a druggie and his death be the proof
As I sat my first drink in hand
trying to forget but understanding in the morning who I am
Nobody to talk to
never really stayed long
Like a one hit song
there for a sec then was gone
At the age of 15
on my 5th highschool already
But I be grinding steady
even though the pressure got me feeling heavy
Old habits got me sent away again
No control over emotions
self prescribing keep me going
But then life began to fade
as I continued to run away
Never feared the stakes
as long as I made it through the day
Seen to much for my age
Not caring cause Im getting paid
want a girl to soothe me, voice like Michel’le
Always will survive the pain
cause with life comes struggle and through the trouble
people wanna burst your bubble
Uncomfortable I can’t trust no more
If nobody is there
what is family for
Life was made out to me as one big chore
All your sins were counted, yea go check that score
I’ve been hiding all this time
only love I couldn’t find was mine
Too blind, because drugs were my disguise
Didn’t realize till I almost died
I could never describe, the change of movement
I felt like I was zooming
I swear to God that I’ll show some improvement
That’s where rapping kicked in, and I showed my true colors
What better way to show pain and overcoming it to others
This is my only chance to turn wrong to right
I’ve been an alien but it’s my time tonight
For my mom my pride true
And all the things we’ve been through
But I would miss you
If you were gone and I couldn’t see you
Struggle with the pain when I’m mixed with gang
Living life with a bang never thought about change
But I brought trouble and I saw how much you struggled and I knew my life would tumble throwing hands for the rumble
For my dad my pride true
Never knew you into drugs
Even though all I show is love
Thought you left like a hit and run
While you blowin funds I strived for that number 1
Wish I could have known your pain
for more than your name
I get it I know it’s strange
even at this age
But I wanted to get know you
You should have never let the product control you
Cause now I’m sitting all alone
While my heart turns to stone
As I remember you forgot your own
within the seeds grown that the hatred was sewn
For my brother my pride true
Yea I know what I did
And I’m sorry for not being the bigger kid
But you will always be my boy even if you is a snitch
And I’d give my life for you
Despite it all I stay around for you
I’m not a role model and I can try to make it up to you
So I’m changing now to show you that my love is real you
The tears they fell, am I alive
The tears feel real they burn my eyes
The truest pain of feeling you have nothing to gain
It leaves you feeling strange feeling like I’m insane
Is this me or a copy of a persona get off me
Getting bands no hypocrativeness
Waiting patient for my escapement
Hop in the spaceship we stay dangerous
Love making music and nobody goin change that
Don’t got time for phonies no messing with them fake acts
Ive been in two worlds and
Being able to see both sides got me hoping
Trying to repeat what I said but I know that’s its hopeless
That even with all the flowin it’s so hard to not be chokin
Cause I’m Walking alone without a father
but Now I’m walking in his shadow without a bother
I didn’t ponder I never would have wondered how the people in my life
use me for my dollars watch me pop collars and how the lady’s holler all the while my superiors tryna act like they scholars
but I don’t care if they hate me they can’t replace me I’m tired of wasting time on people that wanna fade me
And I’m still wishing for my place
My reality always seems to strange
Can I run in life can I really do this race
Feeling like I chase and pace looking back at my past mistakes ( this is a great description of youth)
Never should of hesitated never should have waited
Should of done what’s on my mind then I would have already have made it
But now I’m playing off my senses
never mentioned or questioned
Just guessing that I already found my profession and that’s rap.